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| Fall Retreat 09 |
Fall Retreat 09 was a blast.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Flexibility
What does it mean to be flexible?
For the past couple weeks our young RA class has been planning a camping trip. Each Wednesday night class has been given the opportunity to do something fun, on their own. Some went to the movies, some went out to eat; but I thought why not take the money we were allowed to spend and buy some tents. I thought this would be good since it would be something we could use over and over. And so it began.
At the beginning of the church year I gave the boys their Camp Craft workbooks that are different for each grade. They have things in there like knots, fire, and first aid. Well, almost half of them did them and turned them in and should have gotten patches for the vests they should have gotten. (that’s another story I won’t go into) So, camping would be good for those that did the booklets to use what they learned and good for the ones that didn’t so they could see what they needed to have learned.
The camping trip would be planned out by the boys, with some helpful suggestions from me and Terry H. (the teachers of the class).
Well, the date was set and everything was planned out and smack, the date has to be changed. That wouldn’t be such a big deal if we weren’t so busy trying to do fundraisers for Fall Retreat. So when are we going camping?
This all sparked a good conversation with the boys about being flexible. Now I have to say I am not the most flexible person in the world. As a matter of fact I don’t think I am flexible at all, so this was good for me too.
Being flexible it when we do something we really don’t want to so to make things better for someone else, give and take. Flexible is not being a push over and I think that is worth mentioning.
One of the boys going into the 6th grade said he is flexible when his sisters want to play school. Oh my, can you relate to that. Its summer! Why do girls like to play school so much and they always have to be the teachers. He went on to say that he has to play the student, but he is always the worst behaved student till his sisters get tired of getting onto him and they quit. Well, that’s not being flexible. We talked that maybe being flexible there would be to play, but be the role of the principal or may the board of education, and work with the teachers.
Then we talked how some of us that are older thinks everything should go our way BECAUSE WE’RE OLDEST. That’s not being flexible. But some thought things should always go their way because they are the baby of the family and babies need to get their way. That’s not being flexible.
But how is God flexible with us. Is His love flexible? I say no because he loves his children despite the stupid things we do. Is his mercy flexible? No, he forgives us completely when we ask. How is God flexible?
I think God is the most flexible in that he bought us each and everyone a gift, and the cost of this gift was the life of His son Jesus Christ. I couldn’t imagine buying such an expensive gift and then saying you have the choice of accepting it or denying it. The closest I can come to even semi-understanding this is to say a man goes and buys the most expensive diamond ring known to man kind and there is a no return policy because he has a woman’s name engraved on it so he can’t get his money back. He presents this to the woman he loves and she says no and rejects the diamond ring. He is stuck with the ring and can’t return it to get his money back, but loves her anyway.
That is about what God has done for us. He bought us a gift of salvation threw his son Jesus Christ, but even though He didn’t have to, He gave us the choice to either accept it or not.
The gift is paid for.
We just have to take it.
For the past couple weeks our young RA class has been planning a camping trip. Each Wednesday night class has been given the opportunity to do something fun, on their own. Some went to the movies, some went out to eat; but I thought why not take the money we were allowed to spend and buy some tents. I thought this would be good since it would be something we could use over and over. And so it began.
At the beginning of the church year I gave the boys their Camp Craft workbooks that are different for each grade. They have things in there like knots, fire, and first aid. Well, almost half of them did them and turned them in and should have gotten patches for the vests they should have gotten. (that’s another story I won’t go into) So, camping would be good for those that did the booklets to use what they learned and good for the ones that didn’t so they could see what they needed to have learned.
The camping trip would be planned out by the boys, with some helpful suggestions from me and Terry H. (the teachers of the class).
Well, the date was set and everything was planned out and smack, the date has to be changed. That wouldn’t be such a big deal if we weren’t so busy trying to do fundraisers for Fall Retreat. So when are we going camping?
This all sparked a good conversation with the boys about being flexible. Now I have to say I am not the most flexible person in the world. As a matter of fact I don’t think I am flexible at all, so this was good for me too.
Being flexible it when we do something we really don’t want to so to make things better for someone else, give and take. Flexible is not being a push over and I think that is worth mentioning.
One of the boys going into the 6th grade said he is flexible when his sisters want to play school. Oh my, can you relate to that. Its summer! Why do girls like to play school so much and they always have to be the teachers. He went on to say that he has to play the student, but he is always the worst behaved student till his sisters get tired of getting onto him and they quit. Well, that’s not being flexible. We talked that maybe being flexible there would be to play, but be the role of the principal or may the board of education, and work with the teachers.
Then we talked how some of us that are older thinks everything should go our way BECAUSE WE’RE OLDEST. That’s not being flexible. But some thought things should always go their way because they are the baby of the family and babies need to get their way. That’s not being flexible.
But how is God flexible with us. Is His love flexible? I say no because he loves his children despite the stupid things we do. Is his mercy flexible? No, he forgives us completely when we ask. How is God flexible?
I think God is the most flexible in that he bought us each and everyone a gift, and the cost of this gift was the life of His son Jesus Christ. I couldn’t imagine buying such an expensive gift and then saying you have the choice of accepting it or denying it. The closest I can come to even semi-understanding this is to say a man goes and buys the most expensive diamond ring known to man kind and there is a no return policy because he has a woman’s name engraved on it so he can’t get his money back. He presents this to the woman he loves and she says no and rejects the diamond ring. He is stuck with the ring and can’t return it to get his money back, but loves her anyway.
That is about what God has done for us. He bought us a gift of salvation threw his son Jesus Christ, but even though He didn’t have to, He gave us the choice to either accept it or not.
The gift is paid for.
We just have to take it.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
4th of July '09
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| 2009-07-04 4th of July 09 |
We had alot of fun last Wednesday night at the 4th of July party at the church. They had games set up, and had a bake sale, sold popcorn, cotton candy, snow cones, and much much more. There was singing and alot of really cool people showed up and took part in the fun. It was a great time. Hope you enjoy some of the pictures I took.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Am I BLIND?
Last night, in our RA's class, we assigned 2 Corinthians 5:7 as this weeks scripture memory. It says, "For we walk my faith, not by sight". Then we did something a little stupid, but alot of fun, and split the kids into teams of two and blindfolded one. The other had to lead the "blind man" down the hall, down the steps, and threw a short maze of tables. Then we traded roles, blind man and guide, and went back up stairs.
As we sat there and talked about it, we talked about how God leads us spiritually and we are blind men with out him. What happened? Well, like the kids who were "blind", some ran into chairs, one bumped his head on something hanging on the hall wall, one fell down the last few steps, (I was there and caught him so he really just lost his footing), and they all walked with their hands out in front longing to find something stable to help them find their own way.
Spiritually, haven't we all walked around "blindfolded"? Haven't we all fallen down, lost our footing and bumped our heads? But God is there, always, to pick us up and to remind us that if we had just listened to His leadership, we wouldn't have fallen, tripped, or bumped our heads.
Then I have to look at myself and how many times I refuse to listen to God's leadership. I depend on myself and it never matters how far out ahead of myself that I hold my hands or how hard I try to lead myself, the fact is I am blind. I can't see things as God sees them. I can't lead myself threw life's obstacles and trials, and I fall. I find myself trying to stand again on my own two feet with no clue which direction I need to go and I fall again. Then, when I've given all I had and have nothing left, God's hand is there and all I have to do is raise my hand to Him and He lifts me and moves me from harms way.
Yes, I am blind, and maybe a little slow, but God is there and as long as it takes me to learn to trust His leadership in all things, He is there and will patiently and lovingly always pick me up.
I will always be blind and will for as long as I am on this earth need to rely on God's mercy and guidance threw this obstacle course we call life.
But as sure as I write this and know it to be true, I also know there will come a time I forget I am blind and try to move on my own. So, be careful when your out there roaming the valley that you don't trip. It may just be me on the ground struggling to get up that helps you fall to the dirt, and there will both be needing to find God's hand.
And just a little note for the parents of our RA's ... I plan on having more pics to post in the next couple weeks.
As we sat there and talked about it, we talked about how God leads us spiritually and we are blind men with out him. What happened? Well, like the kids who were "blind", some ran into chairs, one bumped his head on something hanging on the hall wall, one fell down the last few steps, (I was there and caught him so he really just lost his footing), and they all walked with their hands out in front longing to find something stable to help them find their own way.
Spiritually, haven't we all walked around "blindfolded"? Haven't we all fallen down, lost our footing and bumped our heads? But God is there, always, to pick us up and to remind us that if we had just listened to His leadership, we wouldn't have fallen, tripped, or bumped our heads.
Then I have to look at myself and how many times I refuse to listen to God's leadership. I depend on myself and it never matters how far out ahead of myself that I hold my hands or how hard I try to lead myself, the fact is I am blind. I can't see things as God sees them. I can't lead myself threw life's obstacles and trials, and I fall. I find myself trying to stand again on my own two feet with no clue which direction I need to go and I fall again. Then, when I've given all I had and have nothing left, God's hand is there and all I have to do is raise my hand to Him and He lifts me and moves me from harms way.
Yes, I am blind, and maybe a little slow, but God is there and as long as it takes me to learn to trust His leadership in all things, He is there and will patiently and lovingly always pick me up.
I will always be blind and will for as long as I am on this earth need to rely on God's mercy and guidance threw this obstacle course we call life.
But as sure as I write this and know it to be true, I also know there will come a time I forget I am blind and try to move on my own. So, be careful when your out there roaming the valley that you don't trip. It may just be me on the ground struggling to get up that helps you fall to the dirt, and there will both be needing to find God's hand.
And just a little note for the parents of our RA's ... I plan on having more pics to post in the next couple weeks.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
JUDGEMENT
As anyone who know me, and most likely anyone who has read this blog knows, for the past few months - no at least a year I have had a few issues bothering me at church.
The problems I have is best summed up in one word and that word is judgement.
I have a problem, as most do I am sure, of being judged. I don't like feeling as though I am under some kind of microscope and every action, thought, or desire is left unprotected and open to the scrutiny of those which would dem themselves worthy to be my judge. Simply typing this out starts my blood to boil and for what?
Intellectually I know the opinions of others are worthless and should bear no weight on me or my spirit. But emotionally I can't fight it. Emotionally I want to rage a vicious attack back at what I'd like to call my enemies. But intellectually I refuse to call these people my enemy and call them fellow church members. It seems wrong on many levels. But it is the emotional defeat spilling over into a spiritual battle.
But just as those sitting in judgement over me, I too sit in judgement. And how fair is that for me judge those back for judging me? How fair is it for me to sit and think or worse voice my opinions and fuss when word gets back to me about judgements made against me.
It is a battle that spins out of control, pulling everyone involved into a pit and for the past while, I have found myself in that pit without the desire to crawl out.
I have tried to limit the interaction I have with those I know judge me and those close to me.
I have declined opportunities to go to worship, fellowship, or church functions; just to stay away from those I know judge me.
I have entertained the idea of leaving the church, not finding a different one. Leaving so that my path would no longer cross those I know judge me.
But still, even with all this effort, I still feel judged. I am still judged. And worse, I still judge.
I can not do anything about the actions of others.
I can not change their opinions or what I have called "Church Politics" and those that practice it.
I do not have the right to judge them and declare what is right and what is wrong no more that I would give them the right to do it to me.
All I can do is watch my actions and my mouth.
I can keep my opinions focused on one question, "does it glorify God?"
I do have the right to not care what others do, think, or say. And maybe in time I will allow these people back in my circle and value their friendship. Maybe one day I will grow to a place where my judgement is not justified by their judgement. And maybe one day judgement will not be the battle it is with me today.
The problem is not a problem I have with someone else, though I know we can all improve. The problem is with me. I have the problem.
The problems I have is best summed up in one word and that word is judgement.
I have a problem, as most do I am sure, of being judged. I don't like feeling as though I am under some kind of microscope and every action, thought, or desire is left unprotected and open to the scrutiny of those which would dem themselves worthy to be my judge. Simply typing this out starts my blood to boil and for what?
Intellectually I know the opinions of others are worthless and should bear no weight on me or my spirit. But emotionally I can't fight it. Emotionally I want to rage a vicious attack back at what I'd like to call my enemies. But intellectually I refuse to call these people my enemy and call them fellow church members. It seems wrong on many levels. But it is the emotional defeat spilling over into a spiritual battle.
But just as those sitting in judgement over me, I too sit in judgement. And how fair is that for me judge those back for judging me? How fair is it for me to sit and think or worse voice my opinions and fuss when word gets back to me about judgements made against me.
It is a battle that spins out of control, pulling everyone involved into a pit and for the past while, I have found myself in that pit without the desire to crawl out.
I have tried to limit the interaction I have with those I know judge me and those close to me.
I have declined opportunities to go to worship, fellowship, or church functions; just to stay away from those I know judge me.
I have entertained the idea of leaving the church, not finding a different one. Leaving so that my path would no longer cross those I know judge me.
But still, even with all this effort, I still feel judged. I am still judged. And worse, I still judge.
I can not do anything about the actions of others.
I can not change their opinions or what I have called "Church Politics" and those that practice it.
I do not have the right to judge them and declare what is right and what is wrong no more that I would give them the right to do it to me.
All I can do is watch my actions and my mouth.
I can keep my opinions focused on one question, "does it glorify God?"
I do have the right to not care what others do, think, or say. And maybe in time I will allow these people back in my circle and value their friendship. Maybe one day I will grow to a place where my judgement is not justified by their judgement. And maybe one day judgement will not be the battle it is with me today.
The problem is not a problem I have with someone else, though I know we can all improve. The problem is with me. I have the problem.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Art - Creation v/s Destruction
Last night the RA's and GA's at church had a great class.
The plan was to allow the kids to team up and create abstract art. I mean, kids of all ages love to get a little messy and we've been focusing on teamwork, so what better way to accomplish both.
I explained, as best I could, what abstract art was and showed a few examples I had found on the web. The kids looked at what really was just a mess on canvas which sells for thousands of dollars in the art world, and thought they say horses and balloons. And one that just looked crazy to me, they thought they saw people jumping up and down.
So I asked them if a lesson about abstract art could be relevant to us at church.
The first one to speak up was a boy in about the 5th grade and he quickly said no. He added the only relevance art would have to church was that we were going to create it in the church social hall. A few others agreed with him and I asked again, could a lesson on creating abstract art be relevant to us in church. A little time passed when another teacher added that as Christians everything we do should be relevant to God and should be Christ centered. A few agreed with him and added their spin, but it was really cool to see all the little wheels turning as they tried to make up their own minds as to the relevance art would have to a church lesson.
As we know from the book of Genesis, God is the Creator. I asked the kids who among them thought they were created by God and did they think they were created special. They all did and we pointed out that too often we pick out something we don't like about ourselves (like being to fat or to thin, a pimple, a big nose, etc.) and we give what we see to be a flaw power to discount how special God made us. Then we talked about when someone in the classroom is making fun of someone how we tend to laugh and encourage the one dissing the other, but as Christians we should help lift up the one being made to feel cheap.
Read 1 Peter 5:8 and you will see Satan is the destroyer. When we, children and adults, laugh at racist jokes or engage in gossip, or judge someone, we too are allowing Satan to work. We are not allowing God to create love and peace from within us.
The kids worked as teams to create abstract art. They did a good job working together and some look really cool. But as I told them, when God created us, we where not abstract creations. He made us with purpose and value.
It is just something to remember when we catch ourselves judging others.
It is something to think about when we are feeling down and judging ourselves.
But it is something to be thankful for that each one of us is a child of God and that we are special and meaningful.
The plan was to allow the kids to team up and create abstract art. I mean, kids of all ages love to get a little messy and we've been focusing on teamwork, so what better way to accomplish both.
I explained, as best I could, what abstract art was and showed a few examples I had found on the web. The kids looked at what really was just a mess on canvas which sells for thousands of dollars in the art world, and thought they say horses and balloons. And one that just looked crazy to me, they thought they saw people jumping up and down.
So I asked them if a lesson about abstract art could be relevant to us at church.
The first one to speak up was a boy in about the 5th grade and he quickly said no. He added the only relevance art would have to church was that we were going to create it in the church social hall. A few others agreed with him and I asked again, could a lesson on creating abstract art be relevant to us in church. A little time passed when another teacher added that as Christians everything we do should be relevant to God and should be Christ centered. A few agreed with him and added their spin, but it was really cool to see all the little wheels turning as they tried to make up their own minds as to the relevance art would have to a church lesson.
As we know from the book of Genesis, God is the Creator. I asked the kids who among them thought they were created by God and did they think they were created special. They all did and we pointed out that too often we pick out something we don't like about ourselves (like being to fat or to thin, a pimple, a big nose, etc.) and we give what we see to be a flaw power to discount how special God made us. Then we talked about when someone in the classroom is making fun of someone how we tend to laugh and encourage the one dissing the other, but as Christians we should help lift up the one being made to feel cheap.
Read 1 Peter 5:8 and you will see Satan is the destroyer. When we, children and adults, laugh at racist jokes or engage in gossip, or judge someone, we too are allowing Satan to work. We are not allowing God to create love and peace from within us.
The kids worked as teams to create abstract art. They did a good job working together and some look really cool. But as I told them, when God created us, we where not abstract creations. He made us with purpose and value.
It is just something to remember when we catch ourselves judging others.
It is something to think about when we are feeling down and judging ourselves.
But it is something to be thankful for that each one of us is a child of God and that we are special and meaningful.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"The Shack" by WM. Paul Young
As some may know, I don't like to read. I am the type of person that would much, MUCH, rather wait till it was made into a movie, and then wait till it comes out on DVD and watch it at home. I've said it over and over that if a book was any good it would be made into a movie and when people say something about the movie missed a point or you didn't get the whole effect; I'd say it wasn't a point I would have cared about anyway.
But a couple weeks ago I went to the dentist and my dental hygienist, Tonya, told about this book and that their entire office read it and couldn't wait to come to work the next day and talk about it. She was so excited about this book that when I came back to work I googled it and there was a sample of it, I think the first chapter. I read the first chapter and knew I had to read it.
The book I am speaking of is "The Shack":, by WM. Paul Young.
It is by far the best book out there. I have told everyone I've seen about this book, and only wish I had more time to spend with it. It is only $10 and some change at Wal-Mart. Our store here has sold out and I trust they will be getting more in because this book is in such high demand.
I am almost finished and could only say that reading it has opened my eyes to more of the truth about myself.
I don't want to ruin it for anyone else, but WOW!
The main character, Mack, is so much like everyone I know. We can all relate to him; though we may not and hopefully never will have to go threw the loss this man and his family has. His character is our character and the lessons he learns about God are lessons I personally feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to apply to myself.
Visit www.theshackbook.com and just read the first chapter. Then rush out and pick up a copy. Many people I've talked to about this book want to barrow my copy when I am finished and I don't think that is going to be an option. I plan on going back threw this book with a fine tooth comb and writing notes in it like you would a study guild.
I really can't say enough about this book.
I think every Christian should read it and I would love for my church to start a book club with this book.
This book has changed me in that I am glad I read it. A movie or play could only give you a portion of what the actual book has to offer.
In short, I can only say I feel this book has to have been God-inspired.
I look forward to discussing your feelings and opinions about this book as I hope everyone will pick up a copy.
But a couple weeks ago I went to the dentist and my dental hygienist, Tonya, told about this book and that their entire office read it and couldn't wait to come to work the next day and talk about it. She was so excited about this book that when I came back to work I googled it and there was a sample of it, I think the first chapter. I read the first chapter and knew I had to read it.
The book I am speaking of is "The Shack":, by WM. Paul Young.
It is by far the best book out there. I have told everyone I've seen about this book, and only wish I had more time to spend with it. It is only $10 and some change at Wal-Mart. Our store here has sold out and I trust they will be getting more in because this book is in such high demand.
I am almost finished and could only say that reading it has opened my eyes to more of the truth about myself.
I don't want to ruin it for anyone else, but WOW!
The main character, Mack, is so much like everyone I know. We can all relate to him; though we may not and hopefully never will have to go threw the loss this man and his family has. His character is our character and the lessons he learns about God are lessons I personally feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to apply to myself.
Visit www.theshackbook.com and just read the first chapter. Then rush out and pick up a copy. Many people I've talked to about this book want to barrow my copy when I am finished and I don't think that is going to be an option. I plan on going back threw this book with a fine tooth comb and writing notes in it like you would a study guild.
I really can't say enough about this book.
I think every Christian should read it and I would love for my church to start a book club with this book.
This book has changed me in that I am glad I read it. A movie or play could only give you a portion of what the actual book has to offer.
In short, I can only say I feel this book has to have been God-inspired.
I look forward to discussing your feelings and opinions about this book as I hope everyone will pick up a copy.
Friday, February 13, 2009
ME? ME? ME?
ME?
So many times, if not always, I ask "What about ME?"
I ask what I can do to pay MY bills; I ask what I can do that would make ME happy; I ask what changes I can make that would make things better for ME; I ask what am I doing or going to do that makes ME feel good about ME trying to glorify God; I don’t want to sing at church unless it is a song that moves ME; I try to make things I’m involved in as interesting as I can so that it doesn’t reflect poorly on ME.
But why is it about ME?
Why won't I allow myself to focus on God?
Why when I do things at the church to I focus on what I am doing and dismiss the fact that it is not ME but God working threw ME.
Why when projects are good or well received do I think I did a good job and when things go wrong or are not perfect do I think there is something else I could have done? When there is not 100 percent of the people at our church 100 percent happy about something, why do I take it personally? Why ME? ME? ME?
For the past few months I have been trying to step back from the church and trying to fade in the background. Trying to not be involved in every little thing and trying not to rock the boat with MY opinions.
As many of the people that know me and see me daily have heard, Marc and Sherry Lewis (friends of mine from school) are getting ready to head back to Thailand as missionaries. I hate to see them leave the country, but honestly am so proud of them. Not because of what they are doing, but because of the amount of faith they are able to put in God.
It is one thing to say God is in control, but a different thing to actually live your life with God ACTUALLY in control.
And again I have to ask, “What does God want with ME, how am I not putting God’s wishes before MY own?”
Then the reality of it shows itself; God’s glory is GOD’S glory. I can only prepare myself so that HE can use me; so that HE can draw people to HIM; so that HE can allow me to witness HIS glorious actions.
The feeling of, well for lack of a better term, jealousies I have for those doing God’s will abroad is a wake up call that I must answer. I know everyone can’t go to foreign countries and I know I have a part here in Fitzgerald to play where God can and will glorify HIMSELF, everyday while I am right here.
But I can prepare myself, prayerfully asking God to show me what I need to do.
A few months ago our preacher used an analogy of grapes and how you’d toss out the bad ones and only use the good ones. I don’t want to be a bad grape. Call it pride or whatever, but I want to be the best grape, used to make the best wine or jellies – a used grape.
There it is.
Sitting on the shelf and gathering dust is how I allow myself to be and feel. And all the work and whatever I put into things at the church, I can’t help but feel it is empty because so many times it is ME putting in all I have. I fail too many times to see what GOD has to offer and to acknowledge that all ME is not enough.
God has a plan for ME. I know this and I know it is a wonderful plan. God is in control regardless of whether I think I am or not and I know one day all the questions I have will be answered. I know this and it is a fact that helps keep me. I know that questioning myself, who I am – what I am, is good and evaluations help us move forward rather than sitting still of falling backward. I know that when I fall God will catch me. And I know that I am not the only one ever to feel or think this way. I know in God’s time He will plant me where He wants me and this may be it. I know that HE will prepare me according to HIS plan.
And it is these last few sentences that I have to hold on to because I know it to be true and in HIS word.
So many times, if not always, I ask "What about ME?"
I ask what I can do to pay MY bills; I ask what I can do that would make ME happy; I ask what changes I can make that would make things better for ME; I ask what am I doing or going to do that makes ME feel good about ME trying to glorify God; I don’t want to sing at church unless it is a song that moves ME; I try to make things I’m involved in as interesting as I can so that it doesn’t reflect poorly on ME.
But why is it about ME?
Why won't I allow myself to focus on God?
Why when I do things at the church to I focus on what I am doing and dismiss the fact that it is not ME but God working threw ME.
Why when projects are good or well received do I think I did a good job and when things go wrong or are not perfect do I think there is something else I could have done? When there is not 100 percent of the people at our church 100 percent happy about something, why do I take it personally? Why ME? ME? ME?
For the past few months I have been trying to step back from the church and trying to fade in the background. Trying to not be involved in every little thing and trying not to rock the boat with MY opinions.
As many of the people that know me and see me daily have heard, Marc and Sherry Lewis (friends of mine from school) are getting ready to head back to Thailand as missionaries. I hate to see them leave the country, but honestly am so proud of them. Not because of what they are doing, but because of the amount of faith they are able to put in God.
It is one thing to say God is in control, but a different thing to actually live your life with God ACTUALLY in control.
And again I have to ask, “What does God want with ME, how am I not putting God’s wishes before MY own?”
Then the reality of it shows itself; God’s glory is GOD’S glory. I can only prepare myself so that HE can use me; so that HE can draw people to HIM; so that HE can allow me to witness HIS glorious actions.
The feeling of, well for lack of a better term, jealousies I have for those doing God’s will abroad is a wake up call that I must answer. I know everyone can’t go to foreign countries and I know I have a part here in Fitzgerald to play where God can and will glorify HIMSELF, everyday while I am right here.
But I can prepare myself, prayerfully asking God to show me what I need to do.
A few months ago our preacher used an analogy of grapes and how you’d toss out the bad ones and only use the good ones. I don’t want to be a bad grape. Call it pride or whatever, but I want to be the best grape, used to make the best wine or jellies – a used grape.
There it is.
Sitting on the shelf and gathering dust is how I allow myself to be and feel. And all the work and whatever I put into things at the church, I can’t help but feel it is empty because so many times it is ME putting in all I have. I fail too many times to see what GOD has to offer and to acknowledge that all ME is not enough.
God has a plan for ME. I know this and I know it is a wonderful plan. God is in control regardless of whether I think I am or not and I know one day all the questions I have will be answered. I know this and it is a fact that helps keep me. I know that questioning myself, who I am – what I am, is good and evaluations help us move forward rather than sitting still of falling backward. I know that when I fall God will catch me. And I know that I am not the only one ever to feel or think this way. I know in God’s time He will plant me where He wants me and this may be it. I know that HE will prepare me according to HIS plan.
And it is these last few sentences that I have to hold on to because I know it to be true and in HIS word.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
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